The Graduate
I went to pick up my degree yesterday and it was the most underwhelming thing I’ve experienced – well aside from going to times square (yeah, I don’t get the appeal). I quickly texted my friend and asked if she felt something different when she picked up hers, she replied, “no, it was pretty depressing actually.” I can’t believe that after five years and $30, 000 dollars – I felt nothing when I finally saw that piece of paper. Maybe if I had attended my graduation, the experience would have been different.
I’ve attended one graduation my entire life – and it was for my grade eight graduation and I wasn’t supposed to go. My mom decided (last minute) that she’d make me go and we hurried off to the mall to buy me a grad dress. Of course, nothing I tried on fit me but we finally landed on this pink dress that forever convinced me that the colour pink is dis-gusting!
As I crossed the stage when my name was called, all you saw was a Pepto-Bismol bottle lightly sprinting across the stage. Nope, graduations were not my thing. Since then I’ve skipped out on five different graduations. The plan was to attend graduation when I finally obtained my degree, but by the time it came around – I was working and it didn’t seem like a good choice. At that particular time, I had been at my job for about three months and I was extremely overwhelmed and incredibly behind on all my work. Missing a day for something I wasn’t really looking forward to seemed ludicrous (sidenote: my laptop kept autocorrecting the word ludicrous to LUDACRIS – the rapper…. Hilarious!)
The last two years of school were complete chaos – my friends and I often reminisce about how we barely survived. I honestly don’t have a clue how I did it. I remember there were a couple weeks where I’d start my work day at 7:30 AM, run to school afterwards and stay there until after 12 AM the next day. I experienced a level of burnout that I have never experienced in my life. I had to take 7 classes that required a ton of group work, which if you’ve been to college, you know is the actual worst. I was just trying to juggle it all: 2 jobs, church commitments and relationships. It’s hard when everything requires your attention.
At one point – it got so bad that I had eight days of muscle spasms. I didn’t go to work for eight days, which is a big deal for me. I am not a “call in sick” to work type of employee. But I was at my wits end. But you know what, I SURVIVED.
To be perfectly candid, the only reason I felt this way was because I didn’t plan my life well and because I thought I was a “not easily stressed out” human being. The test results show that that was a lie. Turns out, I’m not superwoman (what a dang shame…) but it’s the truth. I couldn’t handle all the commitments I had made, and I couldn’t handle being hyper focused on school. I couldn’t handle thinking about the “what if’s” for the future and all the insecurities, anxieties and self-doubt that came with that.
I look at it now and think to myself how there were many ways I could have better handled those two years and I’d like to pass on that “wisdom”. I don’t know what your reasons for being so busy are but I know that when you’re an adult – life does not stop for you. You still gotta pay rent, buy food, buy a new car because yours will blow up one day with you in it (true story) … the luxury of just being a full time student was null and void after you turned 22.
So here goes eight things you should do while you are in school to not lose your mind:
1. SAY NO – I know that sounds extremely easy (well for some of you people pleasers, this might not be easy) but it’s the truth. You can’t do it all, so say not to the 9PM group meeting time. You gotta get those zzzz’s in before the next day. A tired brain is a slow brain.
2. GET SOME SLEEP – again, common sense right? Wrong. Students for some reason have a fascination with late night study sessions. Like what the actual heck is wrong with you? If you haven’t learned it by 9 PM, you aren’t going to learn it.
3. MAKE TIME TO UNWIND – whatever method you use to unwind – do it. Don’t get so caught up with school and work that you don’t take a night off. In my very first year of college, back when I thought I was going to be a nurse (hilarious since the human body is dees-custing) I was the queen of not doing any school work on the weekend. To this day, pre-health is the hardest year of school I’ve ever taken (biology, chemistry, anatomy, physics, math and some other class that clearly made no impact on my life). We started off with about 300 students on the first day, and one of the professors said “look around, about half of you will be gone by the end of the semester.” He was right, half of them were gone. Anyways… I balanced out my life by being dedicated during the week and taking the weekend off. I understand that taking the whole weekend off might not be realistic, but at least aim for one night a week!
4. MAKE TIME FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY – I have a knack of becoming a one woman disappearing act while in school. I would disappear for the semester and only see my friends at church or if they facetimed me. Guys --- this is not okay. Relationships are good for the soul! You need to hear some hot gossip, about the new boy your friend is dating or be there for a friend during a breakup. No one likes being ghosted!
5. STAY HEALTHY – eat well and do some exercise. I probably gained 20+ lbs in my last year of school. I was too tired to make food, so I ate in the cafeteria every day and I was too tired to go to the gym. This contributed to me feeling gross, tired and even more stressed. Exercise releases your feel-good neurotransmitters (endorphins – yes, I know big words)!
6. BUY A PLANNER – organization is VITAL! If you know what’s going on and what’s coming up, it’ll be easier to plan other things around it. When you don’t plan, you get swamped and then you are pretty much doomed.
7. UNDERSTAND THAT IT WON’T LAST FOREVER – a big thing for me was that I felt like I was missing out on life and that would upset me. My dad used to tell me a lot “el tiempo siempre va pasar” – time will still pass – you might as well be doing something productive and positive. It won’t be forever, it’s just for now.
8. PRAYING TRULY HELPS – prayer is like talking to a best friend. It’s good for you. We are only human and sometimes we struggle and when we struggle we need some strength and wisdom. God is more than willing to help you get through. Being at peace mentally, emotionally and spiritually are the foundation for making it through life!
Receiving my degree might have been slightly underwhelming but it was still worth it. It’s helped me get to where I am now and I’ve got to say, I’ve never been more content with that aspect of my life! Sure it might be the most expensive thing you’ll ever buy, but I’m sure it will be well worth it (unless you are getting a degree on the history of dance, then that’s your own fault and you deserve everything you get in life).
If you are a mom and going back to school, my amazing sister in law wrote a post that has some great advice for you on her blog!
