Romantically Illiterate

There’s something about standing on top of a mountain in a red pleated skirt that makes you feel romantic. It could be that I was wearing red and white. I was scrolling through these pictures and I started to reminisce on all things romance and couldn’t help but remember some of my most embarrassing moments. I will be the first to admit that I am usually completely oblivious to all things romance.

I remember getting a text from this guy asking me to go for coffee and being half confused and half excited. This guy and I had history - I mean - in my head we had history. I had liked him since I was in my teens and msn messenger was a popular mode of communication. I remember thinking he was just so funny. We were buddies, as is the story of my life. Always the girl friend but never the girlfriend. We used to text every single day - even when I moved to another city - he was my first and last text of the day. So when I say I had feelings … I had feeeelings.

So when I got a text asking me to go for coffee, I was so there. He offered to pick me up and when we got there, he paid for our drinks and food. This was the moment that I started to question if we were hanging out or on a date. If you know me at all, I’ve always prided myself on being an independent lady. Once a boy wanted to buy me a bottle of water and I kept saying no. My friend had to convince me to let him. If the above doesn’t adequately describe my skill level at deciphering boys, let me make it extra clear, I am not good at the boy thing, its not my forte. I don’t understand the language of romance - truly I don’t. But this guy… he was doing it all, saying all the right things - wanting to go to Michael Buble concerts with me and plan a trip together. I was extremely confused.

But then, we started talking about girls and his inability to find the “one.” And as I heard him describe his dream girl - I started to think - well that’s me, I’m the dream. And so I blurted it out! “Well.. what about me? You know how I feel. What about me?”

The next part of this delightful tale used to make me so mad! I remember it in slow motion sometimes because there’s just no other way. All I know is that suddenly I was looking across the table at a boy with his head literally on the table, not saying one word and definitely not looking at me. I sat there for what felt like an eternity - fidgeting in my chair not knowing what to do. So again, words just fell out of my mouth, “It’s okay, we’re just friends.”

I sat there for another hour, listening to his dating woes until it was time to go. We hugged when the night ended, he reminded me that we should travel together and left. He literally never spoke to me again after that day. Ever. I saw him at a wedding like a year later and he came up to me and gave me a hug and said, “wow, we haven’t talked in forever.” I have never wanted to throat punch someone more.

To be honest, this story makes me laugh. Aside from the obvious fact that this guy was a total doorknob, it blows my mind that I ever possessed the confidence to blurt out my feelings like that. What did I drink this day? A confidence cappuccino. Like dang girl. Whatever it was, it has yet to happen again and that completely fine by me - I mean, how many head-on-table rejections can a girl take?

The funny thing about being rejected in your life is that it teaches you the valuable lesson of positive self reflection. I remember feeling a little bit negative about myself because one human being didn’t see how cool I am! The view from Mont Tremblant was beautiful, but I could have very well disregarded it and not appreciated it for what it was. It is up to the viewer to appreciate the view. So I’m just going to continue to learn to appreciate who I am and all the awkwardness I have to offer.

Ps. Mont Tremblant was beautiful and I must go back immediately.